Gabriel

I realize that I need Gabriel to be happy. Nothing would be the same with out him. I spent Monday night at his house and he spent Tuesday and Wednesday night here. Well since he left 8am on thanksgiving i have talked to him a total of ten minutes. Which is totally understandable he is with family. I just miss him. I fell asleep after he left Thursday and when i woke up i rolled over to tell him something and he wasn't there and it fell truly saddening and strange. After being with him for 4 days i was so used to him being there that it almost hurt for him not to be there. I have felt that way since. That shows how much in really need him. I guess now I'm really thankful for all the things he does.. He is my superman fully and truly. And what can i say I'm madly in love with him with every fiber of my being. When hes near me I'm whole and when hes gone i miss him deeply. I love him oh so much and though he'll probably never read this i hope he knows how thankful i am and how much i love him. Together forever. There is no other option.

My Birthday.

SO on my birthday I got up and hung out with my baby(he stayed Tuesday and Wednesday night at my house) Then we all went shopping and i got my nails done. I got home and did presents and played Yahtzee with my mom, sister,and Gabe. We all played around until me and Gabe had to get ready for dinner. We went to golden Carrol and then went and saw twilight which was absolutely amazing. So I got to say Gabe was absolutely amazing. He saved for weeks and weeks to make my day special and he did. My family was pretty amazing too. So after we got home from twilight i laid in bed with Gabe just talking in he candle light. It was pretty amazing. I never realized how much he truly loves me and now i do. He did everything to make me happy. It was truly romantic. I love Gabriel so much. He was great. I just know that he is the one i truly want to be with for the rest of my life.

11/16/08

So ten days til my birthday. That should make me all yippee but right now I'm cranky... I have a bad head cold. My nose wont stop running. My head hurts. My ears are popped. My eye balls feel funny. And when i want to sneeze I cant but when i don't want to i do. I fell asleep at 3 am because i just couldn't sleep and i woke up at 9 because of a bad dream. and couldn't go back to sleep. Then i tried to call Gabe and hes been busy for about 5 hours and after i woke up from that really bad nightmare and all i wanted to do was talk he couldn't give me one damn minute when i needed some one to talk to. So i called my mom. Its just been a really sucky day. I'm just aggravated and since about 2 am last night my nose has been so super raw that my eyes sometimes water because of it. i even took a super long shower and i don't feel any better. Medicines not helping. to look half decent tomorrow i going to have to pull out the foundation. Yuck. That describes how I feel. One good thing is that my dad actually stood up and was a man and actually sent me the money he promised. And if you know my dad that's a big thing. Last year he didn't get me a birthday present which was my sweet sixteen. And he didn't get me a Christmas present when i was the bigger person and got him one. I guess our relationship is a little better now but he keeps trying to pressure me in to coming down and spending a weekend with him. but I don't know if I'm ready for that. The only thing good about that would be that Id see my best friend in the entire world Stephanie and the people he lives with has a four wheeler. I mean it'd be OK seeing him but if something went wrong and we fought again id have no where to go ya know what i mean? Im so tired and i feel crappy but im looking forward to my birthday. I get to spend a great day with my baby then go out to dinner then see twilight =D. Im getting a cheese cake for my birthday cake =] Im cant wait=]. Only ten days but then its less that a month to figure out how to pull money outta my ass for christmas presents. Thats gonna be crazy hard since i have to pay for hawaii too. I feel like im ranting on and on but its a good way to get out all my feelings with out risking loseing my voice. So i have a line from a s ong but dont tell gabe he'll kick my butt =] "You PMS like a bitch I wouild know" hehehehee. thats what im thinking about him right now but so do i so its all good. I love him to death but id pick on a flower thats what kind of mood im in. I wonder if any one will even read this because of the length? Well Steph if you do heres my mesage for you. I love you and miss you. You are my elmo kisses. Ms.Laura if your reading this ily too bby. Friday was that IPS teaching thing it made my mind up. Im deffenatly going to be a teacher. I cant wait. Well Toodles.

11/13/08

SO im in home room... its one of those stupid extendended ones that I have nothing to do in. I applied at three places already. Its becomeing impossible for me to find a job. I've been applying everyday for a month to two places and i applied a new place today. Ive got to get one so that i can pay for my Hawaii trip with chorus. Ahhhh! Aggravation. And of course I can't be aggaravated with one thing before gabe gets me aggravated about something else. Then I realize its stupid to get mad about the gabe thing and get sad at myself. Stupidity I swear. Needless to say im bored out of my ming so i guess ill just rant. So i love gabe to death and he is a sweet heart but he can push my buttons sometimes and I wonder if he does it just to push 'em. Tomarrow I have that thing at Ips where I teach the kids that should be fun =]. I get to go with laura and two other girls which one of whom is getting on my nerves. But on a happier note. 8 Days til twilight. 9 Days until me and gabes one year and 8 months. 13 Days til my birthday. And tomarrows Friday!Yipeeeeee. Its been a long week and this week is only a three day week. Oh well home room is over with in 5 minutes. So imma go. Toodles!!!!!