ehh

so i m telling you what... I'm going to be busy the next couple of days ahhh.

well i talked to Gabe and he said he'd try to listen and be there for me but i don't know if i want to now he has crushed that part of my faith in him. i love him so much but he beyond hurt my feelings. oh well.
so tonight is cookie night, and tomorrow I'm making macaroni salad with tuna cheese and peas. yummy. then Friday is the first holiday dinner. then Saturday is Gabriel, the holiday dinner and the first time Ive seen my dad in like six months. Sunday is yule and Gabe. Wednesday is Christmas eve. Thursday is Christmas. Friday is the candle light thing at Disney and Saturday is me and my sister going to my dads for the first time in like a year.

Perspective: me to gabriel

Respect. One word that means so much. Love. Yet another important word. But can you love with out respect? No. Religion. A hot topic that is discussed and debated on all across the world. Well damn it I'm a pagan get over it. Gabriel of all people i thought you could respect that but no.... you don't mind that i am but the moment i want to talk about a new magical discovery, you turn into a jerk. Well I'm sorry I'm interested in it just like your interested in cars do i tell you that i will walk away if you start to talk about engines or mufflers or fords. No i don't. That's respect that's love. Bu if i can tolerate your babbling about idiot crap that does not interest me then you can listen to me talk about stuff I'm interested. You don't have to agree with it but you need to be there for me. To respect me. Remember there is no love with out respect. That's not a hard concept to grasp but i guess it is for you. That makes you a close minded jerk. Of course i never thought you were until you showed me your true colors. Why cant you love and respect me for me? is that so hard? Why are you such a jerk. You hurt my feelings and watch me cry and tell me to stop rather than wipe the tears away like sensitive person would do. Gosh I'm so frustrated with you Gabriel . My mom is christian and yesterday i told her the same things i told you and she was interested and respected my beliefs and was not like shut up about it or ill walk away. Nope but i guess that's the differences moms care , love, and respect rather than argue and fight and make me cry and they aren't as insensitive as men. I'm a mad person right now, my feelings are hurt, and you wont do what you can to make me happy. Isn't that a part of love too? To make things easier. Life is hard loving someone shouldn't add to the stress. Right now I'm crying and if you knew that you wouldn't care. Goodness this is the holiday season you should not stress me out and hurt me. Love should not hurt and should not make me feel empty like I feel like right now. I feel betrayed and I'm tired. Tired of this. I want to be happy and you ruined that for me today. Love me for me!

hawaii

So I'm half way to Hawaii Ive paid $850 out of $1700 so I'm half way there. So super excited especially with the yucky weather out there right now. its quite rainy and yucky and humid right now and all i want to do is like go to the beach and lie in the sun. so far I know that i will be getting on the plane to Hawaii on July first and on my way back July sixth. On July fourth i will be singing at pearl harbor how amazing is that? That s awesome I'm so excited so that's only a little less that 7 months. I get to see the pearl harbor stuff like the USS Arizona and i get to see the wall with all the names on it. I get to lay on the beautiful beaches, go shopping, go to the dole pineapple plant and get pineapple ice cream, and i get to go to the Polynesian center. i also get to perform at the Waikiki shell.I put some pictures up the first one is the USS Arizona and the others are of the Waikiki beach where ill be at and where ill be. The hotel is a block from the beach i heard. so i cant wait its pretty much going to be amazing.

Twilight and today

Was pretty darn amazing except for like twenty minutes. It was pretty Sukey. After that was amazing and my favorite part was when Gabe was like "why is Edwards dad hotter than Edward" which is quite entertaining if you know my boyfriend. =]
So in like ten minutes I'm going to Gabe's to spend the after noon which is yipeeee because i miss spending time with him i don't know how people survive long distance relationships.
Im tired and i got a field trip tomorrow to wti to play with the kids which is un right? well yeah good thing i have a energy drink at home =].
So I went to Myranda's baby shower Sunday. I love her and miss her so much. She said she is going to put me down as the official god mom which makes me happy because of all the times we've had together.
Well time to go. =] bye bye